典例03
孩子的成长和教育是社会热议的话题，现今父母包揽一切、孩子过度依赖等现象十分严重。请阅读下面的漫画，按要求用英文写一篇短文。
内容要求：
1.描述漫画内容；
2.分析漫画所揭示的问题；
3.提出你的看法。
注意：
1.短文开头已给出，不计入总词数，
2.考生可适当发挥，使文章内容充实、连贯，
3.词数120左右，
4.文中不能出现考生的具体信息。
参考词汇：铺路pave the way
From the picture we can see a family of three walking on a long red carpet.______________________________
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【范文赏析】
From the picture we can see a family of three walking on a long red carpet. The son, well dressed, waves proudly in the middle while the father behind bends forward to hold the jacket and the mother in front rolls out the carpet, sweating.
It shows a common phenomenon nowadays that children are the focus of families, shouldering the hope of their parents. Parents arrange everything for their children and spare no effort to pave the way for their success. As a consequence, children become so reliant on their parents that they have no independent thought or creative ideas.
Such a situation is of great concern. In my opinion, overprotection and too much care are extremely bad for children’s development. Instead of doing everything for them, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and inspire them to develop by themselves. Only in this way can they grow up to be independent and become truly successful.
【思路点拨】
漫画反映了当今家庭＂以孩子为中心,父母是臣仆＂这一社会现象，发人深省。作文内容要求考生＂描述漫画内容,分析漫画所揭示的社会问题并提出看法＂。由此审题得知:文章分为三段,首段直观描述漫画内容，第二段联系本文题干从＂孩子的成长和教育＂＂父母包办＂＂孩子过分依赖父母＂等角度分析产生这一问题的原因,第三段提出自己的看法并提出合理化建议。写作时注意时态,描写漫画时应用一般现在时。另外注意用高级词汇和复杂句式提升文章档次。
【亮点点击】
本文覆盖全部写作要点,语言规范,论证有力,是难得的佳作。写作亮点:一是段落清晰,首段描述漫画内容,第二段深入分析其社会、家庭原因,第三段提出针对性很强的建议。二是高级词汇和短语俯拾皆是,如proudly, sweating, nowadays, shouldering, independent, overprotection, extremely, reliant on, spare no effort以及of great concern等。三是复杂句式应用得当,如第一段中的sweating和第二段中的shouldering the hope的非谓语作伴随状语,so reliant on their parents that..引导结果状语从句,Only in this way...构成的倒装句式等。四是衔接自然:第一段while表示前后对比,第二段的as a consequence, 第三段的in my opinion, instead of都为本文增色不少。
