（十七）【2019 •广西河池市】

“人生没有彩排，生命没有重来”，你平安、健康、快乐地成长是父母最大的心愿。今年6月下旬学校将举办一场以“Keep away from the danger!” 为主题的英文演讲比赛。假如你是王雷同学，大家推选你参加这次比赛。请跟进以下思维导图提示，写一篇英文演讲稿。
写作提示：
写作要求：
1. 不得使用真实姓名和学校名；
2. 所有的提示词都须用上，包含以上所有要点，可适当增加细节，使内容充实，行文连贯：
3. 字迹工整，语言精练，表达准确，条理清楚：
4. 词数100词左右。(演讲稿的开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。)
 
Keep away from the danger!
Hello! Everyone, I’m Wang Lei. The danger is around us. So we must learn how to keep away from the danger, First, we mustn’t go swimming without our parents’ or teachers’ permission.
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In a word, we must try our best to keep away from the danger!
That’s all. Thank you for listening!
【写作思路】
这篇作文要求我们以Keep away from the danger为题，写一篇演讲稿。审题可知，题目中利用思维导图的形式，列举了这篇文章中应该包括的几个要点。观察这个思维导图可知，短文应该从游泳、交通、交友、饮食、学校安全以及毒品等六个方面进行叙述，每个方面都给出了一些提示词，学生们可以利用这些提示词来组织语言，用完整的句子表达出来。文章应使用一般现在时、第一人称为主来叙述。写作时应注意：首先题目中给出的所有提示词以及要点都应包括在内，不要有所遗漏。可以根据表达需要进行拓展，使文章内容更加充实。但应注意拓展内容应与文章主题紧密相连，不要写没有用的东西。其次应注意英语的表达习惯和汉语是不同的，不要根据汉语思维逐词翻译，写汉语式的英语。应从句式的正确结构出发，选择适当的单词、短语和句型。句式结构可以简单句为基础，穿插并列句、复合句以及其他复杂结构，提升文章档次。同时语句之间应使用一些衔接成分，注意叙述的层次性，条理清楚，行为连贯。
【参考范文】
Keep away from the danger!
Hello! Everyone, I’m Wang Lei. The danger is around us. So we must learn how to keep away from the danger. First, we mustn’t go swimming without our parents’ or teachers’ permission. When we go swimming, we must wear life jackets. Second, we must obey the traffic rules. We should walk on the pavement. When we cross the street, we mustn’t look at the mobile phones. Third, we may have some friends on line, but we mustn’t believe whatever they say. Besides, don’t meet online friends alone. Fourth, we must wash our hands before having meals. Don’t eat food that goes bad because it is bad for our health. Fifth, when we are in school, we can’t run on the hallways. You should get on well with your classmates and don’t fight with them. If someone threatens you, call for help. Last but not the least, never try drugs. If you see someone selling drugs, call 110 at once.
In a word, we must try our best to keep away from the danger!
That’s all. Thank you for listening!
【名师点评】
这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，给我们介绍了生活中应如何远离危险，保证我们的安全。短文有以下几个优点：首先文章内容完整，包含了题目中要求的所有内容，提示词都使用上了。文章中从六个方面进行了具体的介绍，每个方面前都有表示顺序的词First, Second… Last but not least等，使文章的结构非常清晰，叙述有条理。其次短文中使用了正确的时态和人称，语法规范。句式结构完整，符合英语的表达习惯。文章中使用了简单句、宾语从句、状语从句、定语从句、祈使句等结构，句式多变，表达准确、清楚。文章中使用了一些较好的短语和句型，如When we cross the street, we mustn't look at the mobile phones、Third, we may have some friends on line, but we mustn't believe whatever they say、Fourth, we must wash our hands before having meals.、You should get on well with your classmates and don't fight with them.、If someone threatens you, call for help.、Last but not the least, never try drugs. If you see someone selling drugs, call 110 at once.等。